Worried about hornets

We’ve been reading alarming things about the Asian Giant Hornet. They are huge! 50mm long (2 inches), with a 75mm wingspan (3 inches), and a stinger 6mm long (1/4 inch).

Nasty creatures. And the reason we worry is that we plan to get some of these:

Nice, friendly, dumb, but easy meat to giant killer hornets.

The answer is pretty obvious. A 6mm stinger may go through a sheep’s wool, but it won’t go through the protective scales of one of these:

A Pangolin – scaly but oh so cute.

A bit of glue and some wool, and we will have the Q-ship of the sheep world:

(Actually, that’s a wool-coated armadillo not a pangolin, but you know what we mean).

Any giant hornet that stings that beast will regret it – instant sting breakage will ensue.

BUT

Do the stings on giant hornets grow back? We really don’t know and it makes a big difference. If they don’t grow back then we’ll be better off hiring a pangolin or two from Pangolins-R-Us for part of the season. But if the stingers do grow back then we should clearly buy our pangolins outright.

Does anyone have any advice?

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Disclaimer: New Zealand doesn’t actually have giant hornets. Or pangolins. It does have millions of sheep, and we do intend to get a few. However, this was just one of those strange conversations one sometimes has, in the car, on the way home.

 

Elephants in Silence

Jumbo Earmuffs

Foam-rubber earmuffs have been fitted to elephants at Windsor Safari Park to keep them from being upset by noisy jet traffic at London’s Heathrow Airport nearby.  From Popular Mechanics, April 1970.

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Elephants with Ear Muffs

From British Pathe – video clips for sale, sample stills.

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Elephant Wearing Earmuffs

From FlickR, Deja Vu (in Canada)

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Elephant Jokes

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?

A: Anything you want, it can’t hear you.

From DannySadinoff.com

The Walrus and the Carpenter

A silly little tale from May 1961:

The adventures of that oddly matched pair, the Walrus and the Carpenter, were first noted in rhyme by Lewis Carroll nearly 100 years ago in his famous nonsense story, “Through the Looking Glass.” Now a new chapter has been written at the Coney Island Aquarium, a branch of the New York Zoological Society. The Walrus in our story had a habit of wandering out of her confines and mingling with – sometimes even frightening – visitors who didn’t know her friendly and inquisitive traits. She was only in quest of fish, which somehow she felt human beings should carry in their pockets. So the Carpenter was called in to build a fence around her quarters: three, in fact, the last 7 1/2-feet high and faced with plywood so she couldn’t get a toe hold.

This one has worked – so far.

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• (1) THIS IS OOKIE, a friendly Walrus. She’s getting started on scaling a 3 1/2-foot fence.

• (2) OVER OOKIE GOES, getting to the other side where there are many interesting people. There’s a Carpenter in the story, too. He built the fence to keep Ookie away from the people.

• (3)  SO HE BUILT A NEW FENCE, this one higher – 5 1/2 feet – in an attempt to thwart Ookie.

• (4) BUT A TOE HOLD on the first plank is all Ookie needs. So over the fence she goes again.

• (5) ENTER THE CARPENTER – to build a higher wall: 7 1/2 feet. Now Ookie really seems baffled.

2012 Olympics – the devil’s work

This has been covered by others, but for those who haven’t stumbled across this example of the loony fringe:

• OLYMPIC GAMES AID IN BRINGING THE WORLD INTO ONE, AS ‘UNITY IN DIVERSITY’IS SUCCESSFULLY DEMONSTRATED [link]
  

The New World Order is coming! Are you ready? Once you understand what this New World Order really is, and how it is being gradually implemented, you will be able to see it progressing in your daily news!!

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• The Opening Ceremony Was a Satanic Illuminati Occult Ritual and Other Olympic Conspiracy Theories [link]
  

Is the 2012 London Olympics a flawed and corrupt but ultimately heartwarming celebration of athletic achievement and a sign of peace and cooperation among nations? Or is it a sinister occult ritual undertaken by the British Royal family and the Illuminati to summon ancient demons and secure their power over the mindless masses?

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• Olympics: Opening ceremony a ‘mass satanic ritual’ [link]
  

The Opening Ceremony was “a mass satanic ritual disguised as a celebration of Britain and sport”, according to conspiracy theorist David Icke.

Mr Icke, who was a BBC commentator for the 1988 Olympics, claimed on his website the “Global Cabal” used the the Danny Boyle extravaganza to harness the energy on its “satanic frequencies”.

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• 2012 Olympics Celebrates New World Order [link]

Iran claims the London 2012 Olympics logo spells the word ‘Zion’ and represents a hidden pro-Israeli conspiracy. Almost four years after the logo’s launch, Tehran has threatened to boycott the Games unless the design is changed.

In a formal complaint to the International Olympic Committee, Tehran has called for the graphic to be replaced and its designers “confronted”, warning that Iranian athletes might otherwise be ordered to stay away from the London Games.

One could argue that the logo spells “2012,” but there is still that extra dot that “Zion” has and “2012” doesn’t.

The logo, a jagged representation of the year 2012, has been said by its critics to resemble many things, from a swastika to a sexual act.

The logo has been interpreted as a Lisa Simpson blow job and subliminal sexual imagery.

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• satanic Olympic opening ceremony ritual to Isis not only starts on Tisha B’AV, but also on the satanist day of grand climax/human sacrifice [link]

ok so now the satanic Olympic opening ceremony ritual to Isis not only starts on Tisha B’AV, but it also starts on the satanist day of grand climax and human sacrifice.. and of course the coliseum is surrounded by freemason illuminati symbols as lights.. this is getting crazy yo.. and also now the united nations / new world order of the antichrist’ global gun ban is to be signed on the 27th doh Ice T said, guns is our last line of defense against tyranny. but i would say, Jesus is my defense. and we will be raptured any day now amen

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• Save the Surprise?! Bizarre Satanic Olympics Ceremony [link]

Alright, so I thought I’d peek at the Olympics news. Lordy I wish I hadn’t. Remember that dream I had about the clouds and gas? Lo and behold I found this video of the Olympics opening ceremony rehearsal and nearly fell off my bed n horror.

In chronological order:

“Save the Surprise” is flashing constantly on the big screens at the top of the stadium. Save what surprise???

See the upright faux tree looking thing almost in the center of the floor plan? A May pole, probably. Just to the right of it you’ll see a chimney with smoke coming up out of it constantly. Some reports said that it smelled like sulfur. Not sure if that’s true or not but it’s true that the smoke kept coming up out of it the whole show and there were a few others scattered around if you look closely.

Oh and look at the lovely clouds floating around across the ‘sky’ in the arena as part of the set up. The smoke + clouds are what nearly made me have a twitch fit because of the dream. But it gets better. Keep reading and watching. The videographer did a great job at pointing things out.

Notice all the pyramids across the top of the stadium? Illuminati symbolism.

Because both sports are just so easy …

This from the April 1940 issue of Popular Mechanics, a sport which didn’t catch on:

Tennis Players on Roller Skates Combine Two Sports

Playing tennis on roller skates has been introduced by sports enthusiasts who like both forms of exercise. Skating instead of running on the courts has proved less exhausting, yet it adds thrills to the game because difficulty in keeping balance frequently results in awkward spills.

• Roller skating on the tennis court provides extra thrills and amusement. Players’ skill is tested in avoiding spills while chasing the ball.

You can see some stills from a news reel clip of the sport here, however it’s a “for purchase” video.

Neccessity was Not the Mother

A small collection of seriously wacky ideas from December 1918 (Popular Science).

Why the War Office had a Bad Nightmare

Win-the-war devices actually proposed to the British Ministry

Inventive ingenuity is not confined to the Yankees, as was proved by the Britisher who suggested that buzzards be trained to fly to Essen and pick the mortar out of the Krupp chimneys.

No more moonlight for Hun air raiders. What will they do to the moon? Why, just blot it out with a beam of “black light.” And what is “black light”? Ask the inventor.

One of the cranks of war turned up this one: “Build a cement gun to squirt cement over the Heinies and petrify them”.

“Your suggestion will receive our earnest attention,” read the note acknowledging the suggestion that it would be easy to freeze clouds and mount artillery on them from airplanes.

Just as the Munitions Ministry called it a day and closed up shop came this one: “Shoot snakes into the Hun trenches by compressed air.” Having no snakes handy, they didn’t know whether to refer the suggestion to the Bureau of Animal Industry or to the Foreign Office.

Interspecies Sex

“And not only that, they’ll probably rape and ravish our womenfolk! Oh, what’ll we do …?”

(EDIT)

For a more modern take on the same idea, RW suggested this wonderful cartoon series Ghastly’s Ghastly Comic:

Welcome to Cliché Island

“Welcome to Cliché Island … have a nice day!”

More information is not always a good thing

“Now that you’ve come of age, son, I think it’s time your old dad let you in on our little family curse.”

 

Another Gahan Wilson cartoon from some old Playboy magazine.

Remember this if your host is shot at a party

From the pages of Feb 1967 Popular Mechanics magazine.